Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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