I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
