I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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