Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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