I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
