Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My friends, they love my intelligence
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
