i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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