But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
