I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize