haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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