i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
