uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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