im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Even my vagina gasped.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
