She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
