problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
