grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
