Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize