Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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