So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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