bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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