Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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