I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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