no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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