Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
