Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
