looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize