why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
