Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize