My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
