i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize