How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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