Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
