You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
