would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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