if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
how drunk are you?
Several
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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