I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
