Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
