Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
