Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
