Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
