I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
