The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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