I think scott just propositioned me for sex
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
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Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
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I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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