Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
