Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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