Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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