Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
