apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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