I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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