shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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