Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
