if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
