Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
