I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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