you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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