She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?