i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix