just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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