hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
